The Missing Conversations in Leadership
Managing Director - Bob Gower
Picture this: You’re in a high-stakes leadership meeting. Everyone is nodding along, reviewing KPIs, progress updates, and strategic initiatives. The room hums with quiet efficiency.
But beneath the surface? A bubbling stew of unspoken thoughts:
“Why does this project feel like it’s going off the rails?”
“Why can’t I seem to get through to my counterpart in marketing?”
“Does anyone else here feel like we’re just spinning our wheels?”
This is the silent killer of leadership teams: the missing conversations.
A few years ago, I found myself working with a leadership team facing significant volatility and uncertainty. The stakes were high, and they knew it, but the room felt flat—quiet, polite, and frankly, a little too agreeable.
My team and I could feel it: there were tensions simmering below the surface. Silence wasn’t just unhelpful—it was dangerous.
After lunch, we decided to throw out our carefully crafted agenda and do something different. We handed out Post-it notes and asked the team to spend five minutes writing down topics they felt the team should be discussing but weren’t—one topic per note.
Within minutes, the walls were plastered with notes. As we grouped them into themes, it became clear that a few key issues were top of mind for nearly everyone in the room.
This simple exercise cracked the room open. The rest of the day was one of the most productive leadership sessions I’ve ever facilitated. Real conversations happened. Hard truths were spoken.
The team left the room feeling lighter, more aligned—and, perhaps for the first time in a while, more like a team.
Why We Avoid the Tough Stuff
Leadership teams often shy away from these kinds of conversations because they’re messy and uncomfortable. Most people are nice and avoid conflict—whether out of uncertainty about handling emotions in the room or simply assuming that nothing will change. But the issues that aren’t discussed don’t magically disappear. They fester.
Misaligned goals quietly derail your biggest projects. Frustrations between colleagues turn into inefficiency. And a lack of trust? It slowly grinds collaboration to a halt.
The Leadership Imperative
The solution isn’t to avoid the discomfort—it’s to lean into it. When leadership teams tackle the missing conversations, they do more than just solve problems; they build trust, foster alignment, and create a culture of openness that can ripple across the organization.
Here’s how to get started:
Create Psychological Safety: Model humility and vulnerability so others feel it’s safe to speak up.
Surface the Issues: Use tools like the Post-it exercise above to give people a way to name what’s on their minds.
Prioritize and Address: Not everything can be solved at once, but big themes will emerge. Focus on the ones that matter most and commit to working through them together.
The Reward
When leaders lean into the hard conversations, they unlock the true potential of their teams. They build organizations that don’t just weather uncertainty—they thrive in it.
If this resonates and you think your leadership team might be stuck in “polite mode,” let’s talk. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to surface what’s being left unsaid and start making real progress. Click here to schedule a call.
Leadership isn’t about avoiding the messy stuff. It’s about creating the space for it and coming out stronger on the other side.
PS: My book, “Radical Alignment: How to Have Game-Changing Conversations That Will Transform Your Business and Your Life” dives deep into the tools and practices leaders need to create high-performing teams that thrive on trust, clarity, and collaboration. It’s your guide to uncovering the unspoken and turning it into action. Get your copy here.
Bob Gower Managing Director, Org Effectiveness
